Suppressed hatred for original iPhone emerges as iPhone 3G debuts
The desire for new technology has evolved to require the demonizing of old technology
by Marty Barrett
All product upgrades are supposed to compare favorably with their predecessors, but last week's release of the iPhone 3G has gone beyond comparison and entered the world of hatred of the old, worthless piece of junk. The iPhone 1.0, which debuted to glee and acclaim on June 29 of last year was, according to the ecstatic reports of 3G owners, useless all along.
At a recent gathering of early tech adopters in L.A.'s Chinatown, Mike Wachtel, president of entertainment security agency Executive Assurance, punched out a text on his original iPhone.
"Is that the new one?" I asked.
"No, it's the first generation," he said, gloomily, of the phone greeted like the Messiah in 2007.
"What's the matter with it?" Wachtel was asked as he queried the device for any instance of a Dunkin' Donuts on the west coast of the United States.
"It used to be smooth and slick, and now it's slow as shit," he said.
By comparison with the supposed speed of the new one or just by the inexorable march of 13 months, which makes a mockery of all youth and vigor?
Later Wayne Akiyama, a Los Angeles publicist with Plan 9 Media Group, asked me to guess what he was calling me from.
"The 3G?" I replied, but the signal had gone dead.
He called back a moment later.
"I know that is not the best beginning to a product pitch," he said.
"No," I said. "But poor performance should never be a dealbreaker for a product that is designed so well."
Despite the inauspicious start, Akiyama extolled the 3G's GPS capability.
"You can drive through a neighborhood and see Google Map listings of restaurants and businesses," he said, "though it eats up the battery time. You can watch the meter running out."
His iPhone 3G cost $299 and, Akiyama noted, "comes in Stormtrooper White." He also mentioned the advent of third-party developers and applications for the iPhone, a first in the product line.
"There are some third-party stalker apps available, where you can tell where your friends are if they've made their phones discoverable by GPS devices," he said.
Wachtel listed searchable contacts as a reason for upgrading to the new iPhone.
"I have thousands of contacts," he said. "It is crazy (Apple) didn’t have that on (iPhone) 1.0."
But as much as Wachtel covets the 3G and trendy third party apps like More Cowbell ("more Cowbell rocks," he said), how soon will it be after he gets the new iPhone that his joy turn to scorn?
Akiyama has a ready answer.
"I have consigned my old iPhone to the dustbin of history," he said. "It is nothing to me. Do you want to buy it?"
"No."
"Good," he said. "because if this new one is anything like the old one, you'll be pissed off at it in about two months."
Previously: The iPhone alternative: a non-hysterical view
See also: Apple
by Marty Barrett
All product upgrades are supposed to compare favorably with their predecessors, but last week's release of the iPhone 3G has gone beyond comparison and entered the world of hatred of the old, worthless piece of junk. The iPhone 1.0, which debuted to glee and acclaim on June 29 of last year was, according to the ecstatic reports of 3G owners, useless all along.At a recent gathering of early tech adopters in L.A.'s Chinatown, Mike Wachtel, president of entertainment security agency Executive Assurance, punched out a text on his original iPhone.
"Is that the new one?" I asked.
"No, it's the first generation," he said, gloomily, of the phone greeted like the Messiah in 2007.
"What's the matter with it?" Wachtel was asked as he queried the device for any instance of a Dunkin' Donuts on the west coast of the United States.
"It used to be smooth and slick, and now it's slow as shit," he said.
By comparison with the supposed speed of the new one or just by the inexorable march of 13 months, which makes a mockery of all youth and vigor?
Later Wayne Akiyama, a Los Angeles publicist with Plan 9 Media Group, asked me to guess what he was calling me from.
"The 3G?" I replied, but the signal had gone dead.
He called back a moment later.
"I know that is not the best beginning to a product pitch," he said.
"No," I said. "But poor performance should never be a dealbreaker for a product that is designed so well."
Despite the inauspicious start, Akiyama extolled the 3G's GPS capability.
"You can drive through a neighborhood and see Google Map listings of restaurants and businesses," he said, "though it eats up the battery time. You can watch the meter running out."
His iPhone 3G cost $299 and, Akiyama noted, "comes in Stormtrooper White." He also mentioned the advent of third-party developers and applications for the iPhone, a first in the product line.
"There are some third-party stalker apps available, where you can tell where your friends are if they've made their phones discoverable by GPS devices," he said.
Wachtel listed searchable contacts as a reason for upgrading to the new iPhone.
"I have thousands of contacts," he said. "It is crazy (Apple) didn’t have that on (iPhone) 1.0."
But as much as Wachtel covets the 3G and trendy third party apps like More Cowbell ("more Cowbell rocks," he said), how soon will it be after he gets the new iPhone that his joy turn to scorn?
Akiyama has a ready answer.
"I have consigned my old iPhone to the dustbin of history," he said. "It is nothing to me. Do you want to buy it?"
"No."
"Good," he said. "because if this new one is anything like the old one, you'll be pissed off at it in about two months."
Previously: The iPhone alternative: a non-hysterical view
See also: Apple
Labels: apple, consumer outrage, iphone, tech hysteria
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