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-- Friday, October 31, 2008 --

Market Decline MoviesTM: Juno

Scratched and smudged, ill-used and reflective of bulk purchases made without the consumer in mind, DVDs available at public libraries remind us of the state of the world economy. Market Decline Movies gives us an accurate reading of the mood of the nation via its free two-day rentals.

Juno (2007)
Starring Ellen Page, Michael Cera, Allison Janney, J.K. Simmons, Olivia Thirlby, Rainn Wilson, Jason Bateman, Jennifer Garner
Directed by Jason Reitman

"Don't believe the haters!"

Or, at least, don't believe the haters who credit this quirky politically incorrect morality/fairy tale to writer Diablo Cody instead of the vision of Jason Reitman, whose deft touch keeps this movie from being the MySpace blog it could have been and who coaxed great performances out of Ellen Page (Juno) and Michael Cera as her man-child Baby Daddy.

Can Juno truly be the mark of Satan on a morally bankrupt society when all Juno's parents (the underrated J.K. Simmons and delightful Allison Janney) love her? No, it cannot.

What is the mark of Satan is the soundtrack spearheaded by Kimya Dawson. Dudes, if Juno spends so much time establishing her Stooges-loving anarchist cred, why this low-budget Blind Melon?

How it reflects the economy: With Juno's gestation period and hospitalization being funded by Jennifer Garner and Jason Bateman, the movie touts the effectiveness of big government and a service economy.

Buy Juno.

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-- Tuesday, October 28, 2008 --

Market Decline MoviesTM: Dan in Real Life

Scratched and smudged, ill-used and reflective of bulk purchases made without the consumer in mind, DVDs available at public libraries remind us of the state of the world economy. Market Decline Movies gives us an accurate reading of the mood of the nation via its free two-day rentals.

Dan in Real Life (2007)
Starring Steve Carell, Juliette Binoche, Dane Cook, John Mahoney, Emily Blunt, Dianne Wiest
Directed by Peter Hedges

Aging irresistible pixie Juliette Binoche alights on the life of sad widower Dan (Steve Carell) and he tries fiercely to make us believe this is the best he deserves. Lost in a raucous and Kennedyesque (they play touch football on their broad seaside Rhode Island lawn and dance to Motown, as a family) family that is harder on him than Adam Sandler's is in Punch Drunk Love, (maybe they're the problem), Dan can't catch a break with precocious (of course) daughters who hate him and a love interest (Binoche) who failed to tell him that she was already engaged to his brother (Dane Cook). Anyway, Dan falls in love with Binoche rather than pegging her as a flight risk and superficial as doughnut sugar. The unbearable lightness of a weak script pinned to personalities rather than humans.

This movie's biggest crime is the under-utilization (but then, what could she do?) of Gone Baby Gone's superb Amy Ryan, here playing one of Carell's innumerable and anonymous sibs.

Music by Morten Skage of the Faces Down is like Kimya Dawson's from Juno plus twenty years and a tuning fork and Regina Spektor. (In other words, it's better.)

How it reflects the economy: Market constraints require we settle for less. In this case, that means Juliette Binoche. I would have preferred Dan marry his sister. At least she seems grounded. Maybe next year's big Juno-like social taboo movie will be sibling/sibling dating? It worked in The Hotel New Hampshire. Despite having a landed gentry family with a seaside compound and a steady job with upward mobility, Steve Carell is still stuck with Juliette Binoche in what appears to a caste marriage. Pity the rich.

Buy Dan In Real Life

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-- Saturday, October 18, 2008 --

The Possible Robocop

These images of a decontextualized Officer Murphy were sent to us with the subject heading "Don't ask me for an explanation because I don't have the slightest idea as to why these exist."

Like Mafia vendettas, deathbed requests, and angelic visitations, it's important to treat such statements as mandates, lest the world be thrown into disarray. So we don't know where these came from, and we are not asking.


Had things turned out differently for OCP and Robocop, had future Detroit been less prone to crime, we can easily imagine Robocop finding time for alternate adventures. But they didn't, and it wasn't, and some things won't be bought for a dollar.

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-- Wednesday, October 8, 2008 --

Voices from the web: Superfast edition

The Internet is filled with diverse voices and opposing viewpoints. For example, here is a statement from a site that sells Matchbox cars:
"Collecting Matchbox cars requires a passion for adventure and excitement."
I did not know that. I thought collecting Matchbox cars required passion for doughnuts and 72-oz bottles of Pepsi, or required being seven years old.

Also:
"...collecting miniature matchbox cars is as exciting as real cars."
Next up: Collecting G.I. Joes is better than having real children.

Source: Matchbox cars for sale

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Editor: Marty Barrett
Contributors: Frank Martin, Gram Ponante, Jose Aguilar, Esme Alarcon, Steve Rubinek

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